Why Self-ish is so Damn Sexy!

Being irresistible is a mindset before it’s a reality.  If you do not have the mindset that you are attractive, desirable, irresistible, no matter who tells you that you are the most alluring creature he has ever seen, you will not believe them.

Irresistible is not about what you wear, your hair, makeup, or weight.  It’s about you believing that you are a high value, woman with something to offer.  It’s about you believing that not only are you physically stunning, but you are emotionally secure, spiritually grounded, intellectually savvy, and mentally astute.  You believe that you are the total package. And therefore, you are irresistibly attractive to yourself.

Sexy Silhoettes

“Without you, attraction isn’t possible.”

If you don’t feel irresistibly attractive to yourself, you will not be attractive to others. Without “you” attraction isn’t possible.

That is to say without the real you, real and lasting love and partnership isn’t possible.

Real and lasting attraction, relationship, partnership, is based on something other than physical chemistry.  It’s based on what I like to call the chemistry of character.  It’s not about a pretty face, it’s about the radiance that exudes when you know who you are and your own value.  Not because of what he tell you, but because you know it for yourself

He doesn’t have to validate it.  

He doesn’t have to affirm it.  

He doesn’t even have to acknowledge it.  

It’s not for him, it’s the core of who you are.  It’s the you that shows up and is unapologetically you.

No representative.  No games. No manipulation.

Just you, the whole you, and nothing but you.

That’s not to say you download your life on the first date – that’s not attractive either – yikes!

But you do fully show up, as who you are; not who think he would like, want, or marry.

Real relationships are comprised of real people.  

At some point the real you does show up.  Imagine the disappointment when he finds out you are not who’ve you’ve pretended to be.

Heck, I’m sure you’ve had that happen to you.  We’ve all had that great guy who turned out to be something other than he said or demonstrated he was on those first couple of dates.  And, it was “Lose my information” moment.

Being self-ish is about being your authentic self standing for your own full expression as a woman, a mother, a professional, an entrepreneur, all of the above, none of the above or something else.  You know who you are and you respect and appreciate yourself and require the same of any man you date. And if not, no harm no foul. You simply move on. Because darling, you’re too amazing to accept less than being treated like The Queen you are!

Self-ish is sexy because this is a woman who owns all the parts of herself, warts and all.  

Being self-ish means you know who you are and your are unapologetic for all that you are, and all that you are not.  It it’s liberating and refreshing when dating. And it it definitely sexy. Most men are so used to women playing games, doing what they think men will like and want, to make him choose to be in relationship with you.

But the woman who is self-ish enough to know her value, her worth, doesn’t play those games.  She shows up, I mean fully shows up in the presence of a man, as a woman who knows and values herself.  She’s not looking for validation, she’s looking for a King. And a man who knows his worth, is also self-ish, looking to share his value with the woman he sees a Queen.

High quality men are looking for high value women and will settle for nothing less than the most authentic radiant version of yourself.  And he’ll treasure you like the Queen you are.

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