A great relationship starts with having a deep, meaningful, loving relationship with yourself. If you have haven’t dealt with your -ish, any place you don’t feel good about becomes a insecurity, a hole in yourself that you make your potential partner responsible for fulfilling.
Not making six figures, he has to be paid.
Not sexually adventurous, he has to be a “put it down” in the bedroom.
Don’t have a father figure for your kids, your children call him daddy after the first 30 days.
Perfect your environment. And the primary environment you inhabit is this thing we call self. When you get right with you, you will attract the right one for you.
That means dealing with your whole self not just the parts we show off, brag about, or lead with at parties. This means owning and dealing with the fact that you’ve been divorced and it was painful. That you’ve never been happy about your self-image, or you work in a career you despise because you can’t see a way out. It might mean you are a great friend, but a not so great mom. Or a wonderful employee but a terrible daughter.
It doesn’t matter the landscape of your “self” it matters the actions you are taking to actually upgrade yourself “perfect your inner environment” so that can reflect the best version of this “self” outwardly.
So many of use relationships as the cure-all for the things we don’t feel good about within ourselves. As if somehow having a man will ease the pain of not being the woman that you want to be. No relationship status will keep you from seeing your reflection in the mirror. Each day married or single, you still have to deal with you, live with your choices, take responsibility for your actions.
Perfecting your environment is not so much about making it “perfect” as it is upgrading and healing from where you are. When you upgrade your inner world, you increase in value to the outer world. Not because they suddenly believe you are more valuable, more worthy, but because you believe it.
And a natural byproduct of upgrading yourself or taking yourself to the next level internally (intellectually, spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically) is that you will naturally upgrade externally (financially, friends, family, career, work environment, home environment). When you know and appreciate your own value you no longer settle or accept less than what you are worth.
Your aOs (Attraction Operating System) becomes a beacon for like-minded men. Men who share your values, your beliefs, and moreover respects your wants, needs, and wishes.
That’s not to say every man you date going forward will be a perfect match, but a significantly higher percentage of them will be. And now that your aOS has been upgraded, you will be incompatible with lower versions of dating expectations, because they just don’t fit anymore.
Perfecting your environment is about owning who you are and who you are not. It’s about knowing where you’ve won in life and knowing where there’s still work to be done. When you can own the whole of you the good, bad, ugly, and especially the in- progress, you have “perfected” your environment and your aOs will naturally upgrade to the next highest version as you evolve and grow. Now you are naturally a more exciting engaging fun human being who embraces her own evolution.
This is high value.
This is attractive.
This is sexy!
Want more ways to can upgrade your aOS? Check out my FB Group Dating 201, because dating can be a delicious delight.