Ok, it goes without saying that men are visual creatures. So this won’t be an article that tells you what you need to do to improve your biology and physicality. I’ll leave that to Shape and Vogue. I think we all know that being a part of the hunter gatherer tribe known as the human race, good health is a major attractor factor and traits like hair, skin, nails, teeth all play a part in overall attractiveness. Then genetics take over and we can add eyes, hip to waist ratios, your radiant smile, and graceful posture and you’ve got the ingredients to become a goddess. Throw in a bit of decoration and accentuation and your presence packs the visual gut punch you’ve to bring most men to their knees.
But looks aren’t everything. All that biology is really about initial attraction, and that’s the easy part. Add a dash of chemistry and you definitely have the makings of a hot one night stand or weekend bone – nanza (like what I did there?). But what turns your Mr. Right Now, into Mr. Now and Forever? How can we turn his desire, into delight? What is it that makes a woman the total package, that something that will hold his attention beyond diner and drinks and after sex?
I thought you might ask that. So here are seven traits that almost every man wants in his women.
- Kindness: Yeah this one blew me away. It’s so simple but I suspect in today’s fast food, “me/I” society, it’s harder to come by than we think. Almost every reference I pulled up had this one listed in some form or another. One even reference a major study of 10,000 men where this was the number one trait. A man pays attention to how you treat others and how you treat him. It’s all about the little things, being on time, being polite to friends, family, servers, people really, being thoughtful and concerned about more than just your needs. Kindness translates into consideration. And all men (and women too) want to be with someone who is considerate of their needs, wants, and wishes.
- Passionate (about something or everything): Men want to see your passion, the thing that lights you up from the inside. The cause that calls you forward; the injustices you want to make right; the unwavering love you have for animals; the quirky obsession you have with Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings. Your passion is what makes you interesting. It’s the fire that gives your radiance. It gives you something to share and shows him something unique about you. And at the end of the day, in spite of what all the magazines and reality shows try to tell you about simply being a babe in a bikini, turns out, being you, quirky passions and all, is the ultimate attractor factor.
- Sense of Humor: Ok I think this one is self-explanatory. No one wants to be with a stick in the mud. If you can laugh at yourself, then you can laugh with him (make sure it’s not at him – no one likes that), Trust me ladies, if you take yourself and these guys too seriously, you will end up single for the rest of your life. If you simply take a step back and breathe, you’ll find yourself laughing at the hilarity of this thing we call dating, this journey called relationships. Dating and being in a relationship is one of the most entertaining human experiences there is. Think about how many books, movies, tv sitcoms, commercials, and reality shows have been written to do just that. Like the book says, don’t sweat the small stuff, and may the farce be with you! And yeah, I crack myself up, lol!
- Appreciative: Take the time to show and tell your man how much you appreciate him. If you want him to keep coming back acknowledge him for the big things for sure, and more importantly the small things. This will ensure you get more of all things. This is especially true if you are in a long-term relationship. Studies show men in long term relationships feel more criticised than appreciated. Want him to stick around? It’s import that he is acknowledged for that the man he is and his contributions to you as a woman. No sky-writing or seven course meals are required. A simple thank you, a smile, or loving touch will do.
- Honesty: Ok ladies this can be tough for us, not because we aren’t honest, but because the truth is hard; hard to say, and hard to hear. And at the end of the day, both men and women report wanting honesty in their relationships. The truth gives us choice. The truth gives empowers us. The truth takes a level of evolution and maturity in relationship. The truth builds intimacy and respect. Without truth, you cannot have real lasting love. Without truth you are constantly working to keep up the facade of who you think he wants, rather than allowing him to see the beauty in the truth of who you are. The key here is to share your truth in love and with respect. Let your words be kind (see number 1) and your touch be appreciative (see number 4) while the truth falls from your lips like a gentle rain. Trust me, he won’t be able to resist you.
There you have it ladies. Not rocket science. No magic bullet, or potion required. Men appreciate the simple things. Offer your most authentic version of these traits and watch him move from desire to delight by having you as his lady.